Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
