I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
