I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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