Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
