Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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