At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
