you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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