i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
