porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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