Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
