haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just want to make out with him forever
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
