there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
