What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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