I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
