i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
