This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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