its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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