At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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