Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Randomize
