I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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