you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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