i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think my vagina is haunted
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize