so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
