if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
