We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Are we still banned from the library?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
