I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
