So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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