i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
