This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
