I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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