$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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