You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
