not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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