Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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