I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
