She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she told me i tasted like america
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
