remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
