You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
