Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Sorry about my life...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
