Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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