YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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