Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
