dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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