Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
