i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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