Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
