It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
