Midget sex pt 2 tonight
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
