if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
