shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
