Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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