gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
