You work out of a Hotel?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
