still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
