Me too!
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
