You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
