I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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