Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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