The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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